Sunday, January 18, 2009

Coldness

It's snowing today and slightly warmer than it has been. Meaning it's like 30 degrees. Jacob hates the cold - he's a Texas boy after all - and is always amazed how my hands/body stay warm when he's a total icicle. I just tell him that I have thick, hearty, New England blood to keep me warm. He doesn't believe there's such a thing as "New England blood" but he's wrong. To prove it, I dug up an old joke and thought I'd share.

It's the New England Temperature Conversion Joke.

60° F:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in New England sunbathe.

50° F:
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
People in New England plant gardens.

40° F:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.

32° F:
Distilled water freezes.
Maine's Moose head Lake's water gets thicker.

20° F:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15° F:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0° F:
All the people in Miami die.
New Englanders close the windows.

10° below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

25° below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
People in New England get out their winter coats.

40° below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

100° below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs."

460° below zero:
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"!

500° below zero:
Hell freezes over.
The Red Sox win the World Series!

3 comments:

klunker said...

I've never seen the joke before. After spending a winter in Vermont, I totally get the jokes.

Marianne Mancusi said...

Not to mention you're married to someone who has thick New England blood! After all, he used to winter camp in Maine! Brrr.

Dorothy said...

That was good. One thing - Florida never gets to 20 degrees, at least not southern Florida. It's in the mid 60's today and windy, and I'm cocooning in my nice warm sunny Floria room. What happened to my New England blood? It's gone south.