Life, The Universe and The Great Generosity of Friends

I've avoided blogging up until now cause I don't even know where to start. Should I talk about Reno? My house burning down? Or the amazing, overwhelming, awe inspiring generosity of my fellow writers who have stepped in to make this horrible experience more bearable?

Well I guess first things first. My Reno adventures can wait til all this is over. (Though I do have great pics of conference chicken I'm dying to share!)

I took a red-eye flight home from Reno and my dad picked me up at the airport. My cell phone has been on the fritz and so I couldn't get it to turn on. No worries though - who would be calling at 7am? The flight was a half hour late, luggage took forever, and we got lost trying to find the car, etc. So we finally pull out of the parking lot. I'm sooo excited to go home. Exhausted after being in San Fran and then Reno. Hadn't been home in a week and a half and just wanted to change into pajamas, curl up on the couch and watch DVDs and be alone for about a year. (Okay I had to work the next day, but still - you know the feeling!)

So then my dad's cell phone rings. It's my stepmom. She says something really bad has happened. My house was hit by lightning and is completely gone. She starts telling me details but I can't really focus. I start to cry. Suddenly I can't go home. There is no home. And everything that was in my home - childhood photos, drawings, journals from high school, writing, etc. etc. is gone. Forever. It feels like my whole past has been wiped away in one swoop.

Plus I am so tired from the red-eye flight and now I have no place to go. No place to curl up and be safe. I have to be around people. Field phone calls. etc. etc.

We go to my dads. My stupid cell phone will STILL not turn on. That gets the brunt of my frustration and anger - I think I had to focus on something tangible to stress over. All my phone numbers of people I need to contact are stored on that stupid phone and I feel helpless without it. I go online and email and IM a few friends. No one can believe it.

I take a nap but can't really sleep. Too wired, too stressed, too upset. My dad talks to the fire marshall and I find out craziest part...If I had been there at the house I would most likely have died! They believe the lightning struck at 4am the back of the house - right where my bed was. And the whole thing went up in 20 minutes. If I'd been asleep there it's doubtful I would have made it out. Or at least not with major major burns and probably the death of my dog.

When I think about that, I realize I can't be too sad about losing my possessions. Sure I am sad - I lost EVERYTHING and I have no insurance. And the things that can't be replaced - I had borrowed my mom's photo albums to scan in some pics and so now I have no childhood photos! And I lost all my stories and drawings and awards and things I had archived from growing up. My journals from high school, my really bad books of poetry. All gone. It's like my past has been wiped clean except what exists in my memory. That's the true tragedy. I don't care too much about the furniture. I do feel terrible that my kick ass computer was burned up. BACK UP YOUR WORK EVERYONE! (I luckily only lost 1 day of work on my book but there were a lot of other things on that hard drive.)

To switch gears a bit - one thing amazing has come out of this tragedy and that is to see a community of people come together and help me. Alesia, Lani and Barb - you guys are my heroes! I mean these women have a lot on their plates - they have books due, Alesia is moving, Barb just sold, etc. etc. and they still are taking sooo much time out of their busy schedules to organize this fundraiser. I am so overwhelmed and just so so so grateful. And I can't believe the list of editors/agents/authors who are donating critiques for the fundraiser. I mean - Jenny Cruisie? Stevel Axelrod? Can I bid on my own fundraiser? :) heh. And my dear, dear wonderful former and current editors - Kate Seaver, Cindy Hwang, and Chris Keeslar - have all volunteered to donate critiques as well!! Do you know how busy these people are? And yet they're willing to do this. I am in awe. I love you guys! And there are lots more people on the list - which I don't have a copy of or I would name them all and thank them individually. But go to the Literary Chicks website and soon you will get a list and be able to bid.

Anyway - I've gotten a million emails from concerned people and in time will try to respond to them all when I get back on track. But I did want to publicly say thank you and that I read every email and each one is so precious to me. It feels so good to know that there are people out there thinking about me and praying for me. I know with this kind of support, I will have no problems getting back on my feet.

Okay this is probably such a babbling, incoherent blog entry so please excuse me. Thank you all again for your support and I promise to keep everyone updated. I'm going to move into my new apartment tomorrow. (Luckily I had been planning to move anyway so I had a new place lined up - and just think - now I don't have to pack!)

I'll write more soon.
MAR
PS I took photos of the remains of the house. You can check them out here. As you can see there's not a lot left...