Sunday, August 07, 2005

I need a man! (Or at least a screwdriver)

So last night I decided to forgo the invitation to see an 80s cover band (though sorely tempting!) to try to sit in my new apartment and put newly purchased things together.


Why is it that everything you buy these days has "some assembly required"? And further, why is it that this phrase sends fear through the hearts of women everywhere? Why is it that guys so easily get this stuff? They open up boxes full of loose wood, metal, screws and other unidentifiable odds and ends and an hour later you have a beautiful desk or butcher's rack. Sure, there may be a moment or two of cursing and screaming and kicking the partially assembled desk in question, but in the end, it always looks just like the picture on the box.

Why can't we women do that? We can vote. We can hold jobs. We can compete in marathons. (Well, not me personally...) We're supposed to be equal, right? So how come after an hour (or two or more) later, the small kitchen rack I was trying to assemble didn't look like what was pictured on the box? How come I had extra parts lying around? And how come they don't mention you'd need to use screws to ensure cart non-wobbly'ness in big letters on the box? Do they just ASSUME everyone who buys their products has a handy man with a screwdriver at their beck and call????

I decided to save the microwave table for another day. I mean, there's no rush, really, considering I don't have a microwave yet. :)

Anyway - being in my new place is sort of like camping out in a fort. I've got my donated TV and DVD player and some classic movies like Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Cassablanca, and my personal favorite - The Last Unicorn. I've got a futon that serves as couch and bed. And I've got Molly my dog (good for cuddling.)

What else do I really need? :)

PS Auctions are going strong in Day 2. Make sure you place your bids now!


Shelly said...

My hubby hates some assembly required. I'm not fond of it, either, but mostly cuz I can't lift some of the wood pieces or tighten the screws enough. But I enjoy the process a lot more than my hubby does. Not all men or all women fit that stereotype. :)

Shannon McKelden said...

Sorry, Marianne, but some women CAN put that stuff together. I have assembled several computer desks over the years, and JUMP on them when we buy something like that. My husband just refuses to read directions (gasp!), so I do it so it gets done right. I LOVE putting them together. If I weren't all the way in Seattle, I'd come help you!!! {{{hugs}}}

Sally said...

I, too, love putting stuff together but some of that furniture is so heavy that you really need help. I once put together a rolltop desk but I couldn't get the rolltop desk top onto the legs/base without a friend helping me. I helped my mom build her computer desk and it definitely took both of us to stand it upright after we'd assembled it. I guess the best thing about the "some assembly required" furniture is that it's inexpensive yet looks pretty cool (like IKEA stuff.)

Maybe you should have a sort of housewarming party where all the invitees bring their tool belts and work together in pairs to assemble your various pieces of furniture.

Natalie Damschroder said...

Sorry, Marianne, but I adore putting stuff together. I also change outlets, fix toilets, and other sundry homeowner stuff.

But just because *I* like it, doesn't mean I think every woman should. I also expect it's pretty overwhelming when you have to refill your entire living space and so much of it requires assembly. I wish I could come help, too! Even with just the four of us who've posted, we'd have you all set in a matter of hours!

Amie Stuart said...

I HATE putting stuff together but necessity is the mother of...recharchable screwdrivers. Unfortunately my kids ruined mine and I had to go buy a new one. =\
Yeah on getting the towel rack up!!!

Courtney said...

YOu have the most rocking taste in movies EVER. The Last Unicorn? My husband made so much fun of me for buying that one because it was a kids movie. But a great one! Casablanca! Princess Bride! I can quote them almost in their entirety.