Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Princess and the Ice Cream Cones

Having read the tale of Liz Maverick's Starbucks boyfriend I feel the time has come to come clean about my own fast food dangerous liasion. The McDonald's guy at North Station.

Of course now you're probably envisioning Liz (aka Little Sparrow) delicately sipping nonfat spiced lattes while I'm wolfing down a Super Sized extra value meal, but to set the record straight I only go there for the ice cream. I am admittedly addicted to McDonald's ice cream cones. They're sweet, creamy, yummy, cost only $1.50 and are even low fat! Yes, a day without a McDonald's ice cream cone may very well be a day without sunshine. (I could end up needing a 12 step program, it's sad but true.)

Anyway - when I take the commuter rail home from work, I often swing by the McDonald's counter in North Station for one of these delicious ice cream cones. And lately, when I do, there is an employee lying in wait for me.

Now while Liz's guy calls her "little sparrow" MY guy has deemed it proper to call me "Princess". But lest you get the wrong idea - this is not in the degrading "you think you're so much better than me" kind of way that *I* might call someone Princess. He means it. In fact, he bows when he says it. Yes, bows. And then he hands me my ice cream with a sort of reverence that almost has me blushing.

And that's not all. Our um, "relationship" seems to be progressing lately because the last time I was there he told me he loves me. Yes. Loves me. Talk about rendering me speechless.

But could it really be true love? Is he aware I'm just using him for the ice cream? He still makes me pay for it so how devoted can he really be? And besides, what the heck does he find lovable about me anyway? I've only spoken a few words to him - namely "please" "thank you" and "ice cream." Could this really be a basis for inspiring true love and devotion? Or, if he discovered the real me - the crazy effed up girl I am in real "non-ordering-McDonald's-ice-cream-cones" life.... would he go running and screaming in the opposite direction?

Chances are good, I'd think. So I'd better not rock the boat. After all, then I might have to start getting Wendy's Frosties instead. And I think they have a way higher fat content...

Marianne (aka Princess)

11 comments:

Shalla de Guzman said...

hi Marianne aka Princess (I'd like to be called "Goddess" if that's not taken :)

I've never had a "fast food dangerous liasion" or if I did I'm keeping my lips sealed ;)

Shalla
www.shalladeguzman.com

Liz Maverick said...

Why, oh why, do you always feel that you are exempt from the rules? Did I not say that the next person to call me "Little Sparrow" would DIE A FIERY DEATH? Did I not say that? Sheesh.

Marianne Mancusi said...

While usually I will freely admit to being completely unable to follow any kind of "rules" set forth by you or anyone else for that matter, in this case I believe Gena Showalter beat me to honor of the "next person to call you little sparrow" -- in your very own blog comments section. And SINCE you made no caveat for the 2ND NEXT person to call you
"little sparrow", I do believe I am (this time) exempt from any firey death threats you may put forth. :D

Nikki said...

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has one of these! Mine is at a deli around the corner from me. I call him my "luncheon meat" .. he has yet to come up with a nickname for me ...

Liz Maverick said...

Oh my God, Princess. You got me. Off to go hunt Showalter down...

moonhart said...

See where politeness gets you? You are prolly the only person all day who says "please" and "thank you." Of COURSE the guy is in love with you!

Duh!

BTW, yesterday I told a stranger named Chris that I loved him. He was tech support for my computer. He prolly is blogging about me right now.

Sigh.

Terri

Elizabeth Kerri Mahon said...

I don't have a fast food dangerous liasion, but I do have a news agent dangerous liasion. Apparently, I'm catnip to the Middle Eastern men who own these places in New York. There's one guy, who has red hair and freckles no less, who always makes sure to say hello and caress me lasciviously with his eyes, whenever I come in.

ParkAvePirate said...

I am so glad there are others out there. My friends make fun of my "Coffee Crush". He works at my neighborhood cafe and is the complete opposite of every other guy I have dated. He's a punk rocker bejeweled with earrings, nose ring, and many tattoos. He even has a special coffee he makes for me called "Glamour Latte". *Sigh* the food industry workers are so 'in' right now.

Janice Lynn said...

Oh man! I cracked up reading ya'lls posts. My first 'real' boyfriend called me Princess & it just brought back a lot of memories.

I have a dangerous liason, but not with my McDonald's guy (he's admittedly gay, so I doubt I'll be hearing words of love from his lips anytime soon. Or maybe it's because I crave apple pies instead of ice cream cones? & there's not a Wendy's for 30 miles so I'd best behave anyway.). My DL has proposed to me on 3 different occassions despite the fact I'm married and he knows it. He seems harmless enough and like Princess mentioned, I figure if he ever comes in contact with the 'real' me, he'll RUN as fast as he can.

cin said...

I love McDonald's Ice Cream cones, too- two days ago I was craving one and the machine was broke. How sad was I! I bet your guy would never let that happen- you hang onto him!

(ColdStone was also out of Cake Batter Ice Cream- Just not my week.)

Cindy

Marianne Mancusi said...

Wow. I had no idea there were so many fast food dangerous liasions out there! Hm. Maybe there's some money to be made out of this. Fast Food Dating Service anyone?

Princess