Friday, October 27, 2006

Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility, Scientist Says

So I saw this article today:

Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility, Scientist Says

Sara GoudarziLiveScience Staff WriterLiveScience.comWed
Oct 25, 5:15 PM ET

A researcher has come up with some simple math that sucks the life out of the vampire myth, proving that these highly popular creatures can't exist.

University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou's work debunks pseudoscientific ideas, such as vampires and zombies, in an attempt to enhance public literacy.

Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience.Legend has it that vampires feed on human blood and once bitten a person turns into a vampire and starts feasting on the blood of others.

Efthimiou's debunking logic: On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on. If mortality rates were taken into consideration, the population would disappear much faster. Even an unrealistically high reproduction rate couldn't counteract this effect.

"In the long run, humans cannot survive under these conditions, even if our population were doubling each month," Efthimiou said. "And doubling is clearly way beyond the human capacity of reproduction."

So whatever you think you see prowling around on Oct. 31, it most certainly won't
turn you into a vampire.

Obviously this researcher hasn't done much research. You don't turn into a vampire just by being bitten by one! Eesh! Has this person EVER read a vampire book in his life? You have to drink the vampire's blood to become a vampire and they're sure as hell not going to let everyone they snack on to bite them back. In fact, most often the blood donor dies. Duh.

I won't even go into the part about why the heck are people studying such nonsense.



Kathy said...

Given how many different cultures hd stories about vampire creatures, well I find it hard to believe they all made em up. I have always believed that within every story there is a grain of truth even if most of the story is nothing more than fiction.

Diana Peterfreund said...

Um... I did this math problem in 4th grade. I thought the parameters were sticky then. But it was a word problem so I didn't question it, any more than I would have question why Juanita, Carlos, and Jim wanted to share a bag of apples. Did this man actually get a grant for a well known elementary school math joke?