Sunday, June 25, 2006

Blog Disclaimer

Grr. I'm so angry at all these drive-by posters and their comments. (see below entry - I refuse to delete this time!) Especially ones who don't have the guts to link to their profile/blog. So disclaimer time:

My blog declares no responsibility to:

a) Make the world a better place
b) Entertain you
c) Cause you to think
d) Make you want to buy my books (Someone in a drive-by the other day asked if I thought "this depressing crap would make people buy books")

It is what it is. Sometimes I'm going to talk about my lousy day (or my great one!). Sometimes I'm going to post pictures of my dog or me and my friends out at a bar. Sometimes I'll talk about real issues and often I'll pimp out my books. (Did I mention "What, No Roses?" is out next week!?!? LOL) But it's MY blog and I'll post what I want. I'm not looking to win a content award here. I just want a platform to ramble from.

That is all.

Mar

8 comments:

Shannon McKelden said...

Good for you, Mari! Don't let them get to you. AND, change your blog setting to not allowing anonymous posters...then, if they're obnoxious, you can report them.

Shannon

Sara Hantz said...

Yay, you go Marianne. Stuff 'em!!

Anonymous said...

oh, don't worry about it. that's the way of the blog world and you're certainly not the first or last this will happen to. don't feed their flame by debating them. just delete and go on with it. fighting them, they just "win"

so, on another topic, i'm anxious to get your new book. are you going to the rwa conference in atlanta?

jill (sorry, don't belong to blogger, not trying to hide)

Diana Peterfreund said...

Good for you, Marianne. Fuck 'em. Seriously. I kind of blogged about the same thing today, though it was about people threatening not to buy books if they don't agree with the author's taste in pop music or something equally trite.

that guy was just a troll. A boy you probably turned down for a date. meanie.

As for blog promo, it only bothers me when that's the ONLY thing at a blog. But if it is, I know not to go. If it's promo in teh mix with other stuff, I go just as often, and I read the promo. I only skip the promo when it's just straight press release junk. A lot isn't. I think Shanna Swendson is an expert at this.

Other than that, I put what I want on my blog, when I want, how I want, where I want. Just as Marianne should. If people don't want to read it, their loss. Nothing bothers me more than people who decide that as blog readers, they get to decide what's on my blog. If I wanted to be told what I could write about, I'd be on some moderated yahoo loop.

Be strong, Mari!

The (Mis)Adventures of a Single City Chick said...

Good for you for sticking to your guns, Marianne! I had to switch off the Anonymous ability for a while several weeks ago, after getting two very inappropriate...and threatening...anonymous messages from some guy. The last warned that he was coming to get me and that it would only scar a little. Nice, huh? I left the message up because I didn't want him to know it bothered me, plus I didn't know if something bad was really going to happen for which I'd need proof of the comments. Gotta love freakin' psychos who are probably too afraid to mingle with the real world and would rather sit at home alone in a dark room with only the flicker of the computer screen as light, while eating greasy pork rinds and surfing people's blogs as a means of virtual dating. Kind of the equivalent of a virtual blow-up doll. ;-)

Christina

mrsbingley said...

Good for you! It's probably just some "troll" who gets their fun by trying to stir up trouble.

I think blogs are a great tool to share ideas, spread information, or just whatever. That's what makes them so much fun to read! I'll still read yours, even if you are having a bad day ;)

By the way, congrats on finding your friend again - that's great!

Anonymous said...

I can appreciate that all of your friends with similar type of blogs have jumped in to support you, and, after all, what are friends for? However, I have to disagree with everything posted here in your disclaimer and the support from your friends.

It's really very simple:

People who blog are putting themselves out there. They're putting themselves out there to literally millions of people who surf, link, read and generally find interesting or quirky things to look at. If you're writing about whatever it is that's bothering you (one) or whatever, you're putting yourself out there for criticism from a world of people. Having one or two people take swipes at you is not abnormal. Having them do it anonymously is not abnormal, either because you have it as an option here on your comment section. If you don't want that to happen, then get rid of the option.

I'm not criticizing you or anything, I'm merely stating that when you (one) write your inner thoughts or "diary mode" entries and then hit the PUBLISH button, you are sending yourself out there to be judged, criticized, mocked, accepted, praised, supported, everything. It's instant publication and quite easy for anyone to do.

I would think as an author, you (one) should be cognoscente of every single word you put on this blog for publication. Everything you write will reflect on you, your person and your books, whether you like it or not. You may get crazy people who take things the wrong way, you may get perfectly normal people who take it another way, or you may get someone who interprets your sad posting as a cry for help. They don't know you. They don't know anything about your personality or lifestyle other than what you put out there, so if you put something dripping of depression, someone may see it as a desperate cry for help.

Yes, "don't let them get to you" is sound advice, but it's also naive when you think about the fact that anyone anywhere in the world can read what you've written here. Your boss. Your ex. Your family. Your friends. Your enemies.

Me, I'm in Cambridge, MA, I work at MIT, I don't know you, but I see your blog on Universal Hub from time to time and I click, because I'm a blog junkie. I have to admit, scrolling through the post referred to, you do sound sad and crying out for attention and for whatever is going wrong in your life to be better. It seems like through your blog you're either looking for answers - or sympathy.

Personally, I would never post anything negative about my employer not paying me. Is that really something you want the whole world to read? Your publisher to read? If my MIT check bounced or didn't show up, I wouldn't blog about it. I'd call HR! (Ha.) Think before you (one) blog. Be an adult. Be a grown up.

You seem like a nice, friendly person with friends to back you up and we all certainly need that in life. But you should think before writing. Think about the effects your words will have on other people. People who might, indeed, buy your books. And if that's your livelihood, then everything should be centered around that. It's just smart business.

I agree with the comment here that you don't give credence to these people. You don't give them more ammunition to come back and mock you more to your face. You don't hand them a tirade of "yeah, well watch me" and then continue doing the same thing. Same thing with the people who negatively view your books on a website. Why fight them? It shows insecurity and self-doubt from your stand point.

Use this blog to be positive. To showcase your personality and your image. Who you are. Use it to get people to buy your books, if that's the aim. Or ask yourself, why are you doing this? Is it to make friends and be popular? Or is it to get your name out there? I don't know. I don't see a lot of focus from your site like others I see on Universal Hub (which are mostly Boston-centric.)

I know you'll probably delete this or I'll be attacked by your supporters, but that's fine, because just as you have every right to blog whatever you want, I have the right to respond. Because you have a comment section on your blog and you've put yourself out there to be judged.

Toughen up. The world's not exactly a fun or fair place. Just put your best foot forward, stay positive and remember, blogging's not a popularity contest and there's no ribbon or crown at the end of the day. Just have fun, enjoy yourself and hopefully you'll be able to reach out and entertain those who visit here.

And because I can, I'll remain anonymous.

Mari Mancusi said...

Interesting post. Very thought provoking and you bring up some good points. I won't delete it. I hardly ever delete comments actually. The only reason the comments were deleted in the post I was mentioning was because I deleted the entire post and so the comments had to go as well. When I got the first comment on that post I actually had responded to it. When I got the second one, the one that said I might be being a bad influence on teens, I decided to delete the post, out of panic that it may be true. (And it may very well be - I was having a very bad day and I do think some of the things I was bitching about were best left unsaid publically.)

Anyway - yes, with a blog I'm putting myself out there. And I'm well aware that my employer, ex, parents, etc can (and likely do) read it. And I think for the most part I take the proper precautions. I hardly ever write anything about my day job, you may have noticed. Or what goes on in my personal life, besides the various outings with friends. In fact, I'm actually very careful what I put in this blog, though my breezy tone may lead some to believe I am less so.

As for the projection of me that I put out there for readers, I'd rather--for better or worse--let them see the real me than some glam city girl author persona I could create. And if seeing that there is a real person behind the books--someone with doubts and fears and stresses--turns them off from my writing, there's really nothing I can do about that.

I don't disagree with a lot of what you said. And I do agree on some level that it is important to put your best foot forward when you are potentially reaching millions of strangers with your words. But I would also argue the importance of putting an honest foot forward. Cause I'm not ashamed of introducing the world to the real me. Warts and all, as they say. :)

Anyway - thanks for your comments.

Marianne